i have been thinking of writing this mail from days..mostly because it will hugely irritate the two parties mentioned here (thank god they r far away) but what with exams and other crap never got around it till now...
Now, first things first. The reason for this title is that even though i am a woman, i have hitherto failed to understand what maggots are the reason for the workings of the mind of a woman. In this i totally sympathise with the poor male soul who has an even worse fate..no body would even bother explaining the workings to him (except of course my magnanimous self).
Sometime back i had this really long and as usual, quite arbit conversation with a good friend. This friend is quite different from me but we still get along pretty well. My main point of confusion had been her utter faith in the system of arranged marriage- which to mince no words, i would clearly call the "upaj" of a sadistic mind. So this time we asked this viewpoint. And the upshot of the conversation was that this faith was not due to any supernatural belief in her parents' wisdom or God. It was instead a belief that in an arranged marriage, she might get a spouse who would, i quote, "not be very romantic". To be exact, someone who would give and expect space in the relationship. Another point was that such a marriage was less likely to dissolve, from fear of society.
What i find most amusing about this entire conversation is that while this girl would rather wait for her parents to find her a suitable someone, another friend of mine is dying under the onslaught of what have been named "Rasnaboys" or as they are better known "Chaubey Baalaks".
For the ignoramuses, a chaubey baalak is a unique species. Tending to be fair and round, they are characterised by a total belief in anything written in a book, a tendency to want comforts and a thought process out of the 60s- 1560s to be exact. A beauracratic frame of mind and a love for good food are just add-ons.
The major problem this friend faces is that she is firang returned. The real problem is the fact that she is quite noticeably phoren returned. She prefers english, has a slight accent, dresses more in westerns, and actually has male friends (!!!!). The fact that she has almost 6 years of training in Indian Classical music and is one of the sanest members of her family is beside the point. She would infinitely prefer a love match- even a match with a good friend in similar traits- but that is not exactly her parents' idea of continuing a pure blooded line.
So here we have two cases, both pretty opposite and both on a different side for the oddest of reasons. What i find myself unable to understand is why is either party in such straits. The first friend does not mind a love match but some guy must magically realise that he likes her and she likes him and therefore they should hitch up and voila! happily ever after. The other friend is stuck due to a wish to fulfil her parents' wishes( whatever) and therefore will continue turning out soberly with tea and snacks for a new round of horse tradding.
When i opened my own blog, it was on the understanding that i can write whatever shit i want and therefore i have been happy to oblige u. May u gain more wisdom and understanding through this intellectual critique. :))
will write again soon. Sorry and all that :P
9 years ago
3 comments:
this is a gr8 piece of wisdom, oh wise one!! :)
Ur friends behaviour is entirely understandable if you look at how indian girls are brought up.. they are supposed to be mute followers of what their elders decide for them.. as such when they grow up they find it difficult to take a decision coz taking a decision requires taking on responsibility.. if u take a decision, u cannot put the blame on anyone else, and this they are unwilling to take!!
ur other friend probably stayed out of her house and is therefore used to taking responsibility for consequenses of her own actions, good or bad whatever they might be!!
Even though some indian women do break the mould and take their own decisions, you will find a majority unwilling to assert or be confident of the choices they make.. that is why even if a woman likes a guy she mostly waits for the guy to express his love.. in which case she can say that it was the guy who got her into the r'ship!!
This passiveness needs courage to break,.. n i hope more women develop that confidence!!
what a post. sure booker for you this year, unless of course you better your own performance with some lovely volgan poetry.
as to what goes on in women's minds, please do not include yourself in the aforementioned category.
damn that was funny. i know keya smwhat..
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